I've been traveling the USA for over a year now. 4 months in 2021, and this whole year. Here are my quick reflections.

Worth it? Yes

Anxiety provoking at times? Yes. Being alone in a unknown, potentially dangerous, new area is tough. I'm working on strategies to deal with that like socializing, getting out into nature, and doing research of an area before hand.

Were there some cities / areas where I seemed to not get anxiety? Yes, when I was passing through quickly, looking forward to something the city's known for (Orlando - theme parks!), or where there was a lot more to do in a city.

One of my favorite memories is my time with my sister. I hadn't really hung out with her much for over ten years other than a handful of days for Christmas every year. Thanks to my ability to work remote, I was able to live with her for about three months, welcomed to her house.

I got a lot of memories and bonded with my sister. I think we got a lot closer, which I wasn't expecting since before, I didn't expect we were that close and didn't expect to stay long. It turns out she's an independent adult now, and I was reminded taht there's a love for me that's clearly still there.

When I shared this with someone I knew, he told me he's very glad I did that. I was hemming and hawwing about skipping a visit to her while down south. He said I'll have those memories and that relationship forever now, wherever I go. And I can come back to visit her whenever, and I'll likely be welcomed. He's absolutely right - a fun trip to sightsee (like my trip to Key West) is fun and temporary, but a relationship with someone I've known almost my whole life can last longer.

There were moments of feeling sad and saying goodbye, like when I finally said goodbye to my sister and departed to Miami. And there's the time when I went back home to visit my family and had to say goodbye to all of them because the week we spent together is over.

Yet while I felt bad about it, partially wishing I could spend more time, feeling a little sense of how my sister was a little sad I couldn't spend more time with her, I also realized that I spent a TON of time with many family members thanks to the changes I made these past two years, so I shouldn't feel too bad. That's almost a quarter of a year with one sister, something that wouldn't have happened if I never chose to go through this remote job - travel journey, something that I'm the only one doing at my company (though others work remote too). I made it happen.

So, I shouldn't feel too bad about not spending enough time. I think I even spent "too much" time with some of them where I'm starting to see the areas that they annoy me. Any "regret" or sad feelings I have for not spending enough time with them should be met with logic, since I've been able to spend a lot more time than most with most of my family thanks to me bouncing around the USA this year. I spent a decent amount of time visiting my other sister in NYC last year. And I spent a longer period of about 2.5+ weeks at home with my mother last year - it was too much, I started to get annoyed and felt the overbearing feeling of my mom hovering over me. That's why I'm totally content with just one week here this year.

I think it's important to spend quality time with people because I think it's often a regret or mistake I hear from rich people - they worked so hard that they forsaked family. At the same time, I can't let my guilt of that lead to overcompensation. Sure, I didn't spend every waking moment with my sister - but I did my best to. She had work obligations that kept her busy from the time she woke up to 9pm on weekdays, but we were still able to hang until midnight, watching TV, exploring the city, eating on the weekends - it was amazing. We went through some negative times too, going through a hurricane, going through a dog passing away, going without power ... but we made it through and created memories.

I felt so sad when I decided I needed to leave and keep going. I knew I had explored pretty much where I wanted to in her small city. I knew I wasn't growing if I stayed there any longer, I would stagnate. I got to a point where it was mostly just work -> gym in that area. I questioned my decision. Should I stay longer? I eventually made the jump and went to Miami.

The negative feelings were there for the first day in Miami. At the same time, while my sister expressed some sadness, her and all the roommates were perfectly fine with me leaving. After the first day in Miami, my feelings quickly changed. I was excited again. I was feeling independent again. I was preferring being on my own and felt I made the right decision. I was exploring new things again, growing, meeting new people.

Honestly, that addresses the final point I want to make, which is that I spent a whole year just exploring the east coast of the USA. While I wasn't expecting that to take so long, I talked to another person I reconnected with when I returned home and he told me that there's nothing wrong with that. I get to explore at my pace, and that indicates that I liked an area - if I didn't, I would've been like "screw this!" and left sooner.

Other people are dealing with tougher problems in life right now: where to get their next meal, how to make money and stay afloat, so my "problems" and worries are small in comparison. And unique. It's more "do I stay and spend more cherished time with my sister? Do I move forward and not stagnate on my adventure? How fast or slow do I move through the USA? How do I stifle my anxiety and fear of being alone without knowing anyone in yet another new city and stifle my deep fear of danger/getting killed/or hurt out somewhere new and unknown? Should I be spending more time with family than I am? How do I preserve my Chinese culture when I'm American and I'm in a city where there's barely any asians? How do I stay connected and spend time with family when they're all over the country now pursuing their own things? How do I make sure I'm not screwing up, making stupid decisions about traveling, distracting myself from work, failing to settle down?"

To that, I say I try my best, be smart, stay present, stay happy, stay grateful, and don't overthink. Honestly, signs point to things being alright, better than alright, and to not worry too much. I spent more time with my family than my dad has - he may spent a couple days a year because he lives and works in China, and my family has been totally cool with that. All feedback from my managers tell me that I'm doing a spectacular job and to keep it up, so so far, travel hasn't affected work negatively, if anything, it's energized me because I'm not leaving work to go to the same boring suburbs every day. Really, I don't need to be a super hero, I just need to take it one step at a time and do a reasonable job with how I travel, stay safe, and prioritize my values.

I am juggling the "need to not take too long," which means I will be moving from Florida into Houston by the next month - I've already booked my lodgings. That said, perhaps, once I get there, I need to ease down again - and "let it go with the flow!" Maybe I'll spend another year and not loop around the whole USA like planned because I take it slow again. And perhaps, that's okay.

International travel is a small thought and dream in my mind but there are hurdles there, it's a long term goal, and why rush?

As I write this email, I see the close itinerary literally 11:59PM EST, so I'm going down to celebrate with my family that's still awake ....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!, we whisper-yell and cheer, to not wake the ones sleeping. We get into a huddle and start cheering!

As I ring in a new year, 2023, I know I'm getting old(er). I'm in my early 30s now, some things are not going to come as conveniently to me because I'm not in that "it's a new world, I'm fresh and young" phase. But I still think I have time and 30s isn't that old. So one of my resolutions is not to beat myself up as much about having "a ticking biological timer."

In that vein, I'm going to stop beating myself up right now about questioning and wondering if "I did not spend enough time with XYZ" because I have spent a lot of time with many of them, and they sometimes don't want to spend time with me! Or they're tired of me. Or they're onto their own things after time! Or I'm annoyed of them after spending too long together.

Anyhow, I remain blessed and grateful that I have the manueverability to do so - It's not perfect since I'm somewhat car-bound, but yes, if I wanted to, I could ditch the car and live near any of them for however long I want as long as they're in the US. So very #grateful.

I think everyone should do this or do a bit more of it. I told my manager, and he said, he never thought to visit his brother in this way but he totally could because of his remote job, and he think he just might.

As I venture into 2023, I hope to continue to improve my master of my internal world so that I'm not stressing too much while on this adventure, and my external world to continue to improve my career and skills to finance this adventure. It's another scary unknown for me since I'll be venturing into new cities I've never been to again. It's scary because there's always news stories of people that get killed and what not. But I realize those don't happen that often. Also, a couple of the people I reconnected with when I went home to visit don't seem to be blown away either - they're somewhat indifferent about my travels, which at least assures me a bit more that I'm not doing anything too risky or threatening.

A tear almost comes to my eye thinking back. I've been to so many cities, I miss many places, I've developed a familiarity and comfort in some of those places ... Atlanta, NYC, Charlotte, Miami, Sarasota ... My friend back home asked me if I developed any relationships with people I stay in touch with on my journey. The answer is yes, loose acquaintances where I sometimes still keep in touch, usually men, some women, from different things I attended: hiking club, dance class, language exchange, juggling club. I have no regrets, and I would do it again. I was so over and bored of staying in my hometown after exploring every inch of it and going through the same motions for years.

While I may have taken it to the opposite extreme, that's the adventure I wanted to go on, and it was great!

The dude I met at a language exchange in NYC said it best when I told him that travel makes me anxious at times. He said, yes, it can be a little tough at times, but the payoff of the experiences is often well worth it.

I have to remind myself it's not over. I can come back to these places if I wanted, establish myself quicker, reconnect with people I know there quicker, and get more comfortable. They're like old friends that I've lost touch with for a bit.

And you're possibly wondering ... what's my favorite city so far? Well, although I've been in small cities like Greenville and Asheville, I like them big. I'm glad I kept going because ironically, the last city I visited, Miami, was pretty awesome. Not perfect, nothing's perfect (there's few asians and asian grocery stores) but it's cleaner than other cities, there's more to do, the weather is nice, there's a nice beach, and the traffic/commute isn't bad.

Wishing you a happy new year!

Will Chou